Advise, But Don't Judge

Funny how this message was presented before us in church on Sunday. It's something I need to work on. It's a sign from God that he agrees so I must be diligent and realize that I should give my advice without judging the person if they follow it or not. It's not my job to dictate people's lives even if I think it's right. I'm still naiive and must learn

Gratitude

It's finally the weekend! This week has been full of work and school that I haven't spent a lot of time with John or my friends. It's been lonely, but I got paid! It's a little difficult to stomach making less, but I feel grateful to God that I got a job so easily and how busy I stay at the office. It's great experience so I am very pleased. I can even have as many hours as I want. If I have a problem with the pay, I can always just find a better paying job. God has granted me happiness and a means of earning money especially since my friends are still looking for work.

God is too good to me. I need to appreciate him.

Time for Me to Shut Up

I spoke with John today and he told me advice wasn't meant to be taken, just put out there. I am going to just mellow down. I shouldn't impose my views on other people and I'm sorry I ever did. I care a lot and I guess it blinds me at times. I think of things through my own eyes, but no one else's. I must learn to let go. I want to be that friend people can vent to. I'll keep my advice to myself unless asked.

Just think of me as a pair of ears you can vent to. I am learning. God has given me a new challenge and I will triumph!

Drama

Seems like it's been a while since I've had anything to say...Life has been full of drama. I know that my friends might actually read my entries and be offended, but I want to put it out there. I want to be honest. I will not sensor what I want to say just so you and I can maintain a fake friendship where we cannot be honest with each other. I want to be real, and I shall strive to be.

I worry for one of my friends who is in a volatile relationship. There are ups and downs, but she says there are more ups than downs. I worry for her because her boyfriend appears to be taking advantage of her kindness at times and when confronted with it, denies it and gets angry because he knows deep inside, it's true, but he's still young and unable to accept it to be true. He is so young, he thinks he has a handle on the situation, but he constantly needs help from others and is unable to control himself emotionally.

My sister is going through some interesting things as well. She likes a 16 year old (-_- pedo...) and a 21 (almost 22) likes her, but she doesn't like him. She flirts and brings his hopes up, but things won't change so easily. I worry for my friend that likes her...

For me, life is really great. I have a new job that is going well. I'm learning a lot and I am very busy. I am in class once a week and it's a lot of reading, but I'll live. It sucks I'm paying so much to go to school where I have very few classes, but I can't spend a year without school at all. That's just a waste! Then there's John. I am very happy right now with him. I miss him when we're not together and I hate that I have a job that keeps me from him, but I am happy to have money to pay for things again. All summer I spent many times worrying about money, but now I can do things because I have money to pay for them and not run down my savings! I wish I could be as carefree as some of my friends who don't have to pay for their schooling and can save all of their paychecks to spend on something big. A friend of mine just bought a $1k tablet and my other friend went to Oregon to buy a new Mac computer. I'm envious, but I will live with my situation. I can save up and use my savings to pay for even the small things I like and not feel like a drain on my family. I will take care of myself and not worry for my family as much. I guess I have to be more positive.

College Student...?

Uh, so I should use the term "college student" loosely. I am only taking one class this semester. Sheesh. It really sucks. I messed up a lot because of what my advisement report told me so here I am, without any real schedule this semester. At least I have a "break" from all this stress. It's an English class so at least it's important to my major. I'm wasting money, but maybe I shouldn't think about college as being a waste of money or not. Time, yes, or maybe. Money, no. It's an investment. Or rather, I have to convince myself it is.

I worry about my family, which is having problems. Or rather, it's my mother who is having problems. Money is on her mind and the time and I wish I didn't screw up this semester so that I could be on track to help her. What a few thousand dollars of debt for my college education compared to her $50K debt to pay for the house, if she can get that loan that is. I wish I could do more for my mother, but I won't weight her down with my debt the way other people do their parents. I want to be self sufficient if I can. It's going to take a few years to pay off, but I can pay it off in a certain amount of time so long as I work consistently and for a good pay. I have no worries about myself. I do worry for my mother who cannot even afford the house, though. What to do about that?

There are times when my boyfriend John will tell me that when we get married (well, he actually says "if" because it hasn't happened yet) he'll help me take care of my family. He tells everyone how he can get rich immediately, and I don't want to doubt him. He gives a lot of money to other people and it's hard to lie so consistently and accurately each time. I want to put my trust in him. He's my boyfriend after all. I believe God will grant him many opportunities so that he can be capable of doing such greatness. I'd be happy if he could help out my family, but that's in the future. What worries me is the right now, however God will provide. He always does. How dare I worry while I know that everything will go smoothly with God!

I want to instill in my readers, or reader, or the vast empty space that is my audience that God has a plan. I may be a worry wart, but I know I have to let everything go. It's a lot easier.

Starting Out

So, I am sick of trying to wade out all the posts on tumblr to actually to see what's going on with my friends. I like tumblr, but I am getting bored of it. I just want a way to vent to my friends and keep up to date with everyone. I wonder if it's too hard to get people to switch? Tumblr seems to be more of a place for reblogging of random stuff you can never have. I want something like a blog. I hope I can get people to create a blogger. It's been a while since I've blogged properly, so I hope this goes well.

Life is going well outside of school. I found a new job in a gynecology clinic as a file clerk so I shall be filing and scanning papers for 8 hours 3 times a week. Crazy. I don't look forward to how boring the job will be, but perhaps it'll be better than I think. How else do the other employees do it for about 5 years? School is crap. I don't know if my fall semester will be dropped or not. I just know I'll be busy if I stay in school. I definitely will miss my boyfriend! Sucks. I hate that summer is coming to an end, but I shall cope.

Oh, God has blessed me so much this year. I am so happy.... (^-^)